Bowel Movement Bandit

I know that the title of this post may be a bit misleading. However, I must explain to you, I do not steal bowel movements. No, far from being a turd thief, I am referring to my recent propensity to steal the reading material out of the community bathroom of my work place. It seems that if you put a book shelf in a bathroom, people are going to stock it with their leftover magazines, and on rare occasions, books.

You may remember a recent post where I explained this whole phenomenon in more detail. Well, I have hit the jack pot over the course of the past week or so, and felt that I should share. I have now stolen three "The Economist" magazines, or would you call them journals? I'm not sure about that one. Also, I just now, in the past ten minutes, stole "The Life of Andrew Jackson" by Robert V. Remini. It is an abridgment of his previous volumes, but it should be a great read. I know that the Militant Archivist will be pleased.

Don't watch Sean Hannity...

Or else you'll be as pissed off at the crazy liberals as I am. I swear, the Fox News Hannity show has been hitting the nail on the head this past week, of course, the Socialists have given ole' Sean plenty to rant and rave about. Have you all seen the video of the school children singing the praises of Obama? First off, WTF!? If that had been Bush's name in the lyrics of the songs they were singing, the main stream media would have lost their mind, the ACLU would have stepped in, all hell would have broken loose. Instead, Hannity got pissed, and CNN said "well, I don't really see what the big deal is, that happened 7 months ago." Are you serious? What is the statute of limitations on crazy radical teachers and school administrators indoctrinating children?

Also, I've been seeing the coverage of these protests of the G20 summit in Pittsburgh. I had no idea how many Americans hate capitalism. Once again, are you kidding me?! Seriously, someone has to be joking. Hannity had two college girls, (they would call themselves women, but where I come from, that implies that one has their shit together and handles their own issues), so I will call them girls, anyway, they had no idea what they were arguing about. They were against capitalism, but I'd like to know who was paying their tuition, and how they would've been able to go to that school if it were not for capitalism. One of these girls even said "why does anyone need to make more than $500,000 a year?" At that point I was standing up, screaming at my television, "because they fucking can!" These leaches, these parasites, they feel like people who are wealthy are obligated to share their money with those who are not. If that kind of thinking makes sense to you, then please comment, and come back often, I would love to know how people come to that kind of conclusion, so maybe we can find a way to counter it. God knows that reason, logic, and facts hasn't worked.

You are all insane.

Not you guys, I mean the other ones...well, yea, probably you too. So, I've been watching the news more lately; I try to balance it between CNN and FoxNews, so I can get the proper amount of liberal horse shit, and balance it out with the same amount of conservative horse shit. I tend to buy the conservative horseshit more, but I get distracted by all of the entertainment news, and the sensationalism. Yesterday I was trying to figure out if the Congressman from SC was a racist, which, he probably is, I mean, he does have a southern accent, and you know how all of us southerners are, oh wait, isn't that stereotyping? I was about to apologize for digressing, but I think in order to digress, one first has to have at least a somewhat coherent thought, and right now I'm just kind of letting the bullshit that's been swimming around in my head pour through my fingers. Stinky.

Anyway, getting to a point, perhaps not the point, but a point nonetheless, I don't care if this guy from SC is a racist, not in the least. I think we're all a little racist, I mean, it's natural to be bias toward the people you are most like, and against the ones you are least like. So, yea, I figure we're all a bit racist, or if you are more comfortable with it, ethnocentric. I'm not necessarily "against" anyone else, but by default I am more "for" my group, so, there you have it. Well hell, I can't back that up, I do hate people who waste my time, cloggers, of all shapes, sizes and colors.

Read this one quick guys, I figure I'll end up deleting it when I go back and reread it and realize it doesn't actually say anything!

I steal things.

The place I work has kind of a neat situation in the community bathroom. There is a book shelf where everyone will leave the various magazines that they subscribe to, or books they have finished, so that the other relievers can enjoy them. It has always been kind of an unspoken thing, but I don't think you're really "supposed" to take the books from the bathroom. Of course, if nobody did, they would all end up pretty disgusting.

The past few days I have taken a brand new Men's Health, and Men's Journal...and just now I found "The Intellectual Devotional," sounds like perfect reading for the guy who steals community property from the shitter.